Monday, March 30, 2009

=)

Strangely, I'm looking forward to tmr hehehe. I can't wait to hand up my assignment, It's been a burden!!!

Though I have 1/4 left to write... Haha.

Don't know why I'm feeling happy now as I'm doing my assignment and listening to the piano version of Utada Hikaru - "First Love" on repeat. :)

And eating a fruit. :)

And blogging...

Talk about multi-tasking lol...

 

I love the serenity of the night. It's worth losing my beauty sleep over haha...

Saturday, March 28, 2009

grantorinoposter

Watched "Gran Torino" in the first hour of Saturday. It is a GREAT show!!! Peppered with many crude racist jokes and slang, which somehow I found humourous. I love the story plot! There was an unexpected twist to it and it was so touching I teared. ='(

Bet Henry didn't know HAHA

..... .... ... .. .

Warmest farewell to

WENDY
CHERYL &
DANNY

Who will be transferring out of our cg...

We'll surely miss you! ='(

Friday, March 27, 2009

I had a premature sleep of less than 4 hours... Kinda goggy now... And reason being...

THAT SAME IRRITATING GUY CALLED AT 8.30A.M TO DELIVER A BAD NEWS. He was the one who greatly irritated me on Monday night.

Speechless.

Sigh I have piano at 10am and I wonder how am I going to play given my lack of sleep and practise this week... :(

And I gotta fly to school after that... Lesson at 12pm...

I just knew that last night wasn't a reality... =/

Went for OCS Social Night earlier! And I thoroughly enjoyed myself!!! Dennis played a great date hahaha. He was such a gentleman! (And claimed that was his nature....) Lol.

I have always admire guys in OCS. For obvious reasons... =X And also for their physical and mental strength. The stuff they have to go through in there is incredible. *SALUTE*

The word/letters "OCS" will always remind me of someone... From long ago... Whom I was very proud of... ...

Anyway... I am finally enlightened about the following tonight...

2-3 people = a group
3 groups -> a section
3 sections -> a platoon
3 platoons -> a battalion
3 battalions -> a company? (not sure about this)

:)

Had a good catch up with Dennis after SO LONG. We couldn't even remember the last time we met.

I miss having him and Chang around in church,,,... ='(

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Recently I have the hardest time waking up... Each morning my dad has to wake me up for about 5 times... I know it's not something to be proud of,

It's worse now that he has to leave home at 7am! So from now on, I'll reach school by 7.30am... So secondary school!!! -_- I thought I'd never have those days again...

But it sure beats having to take the public transport together with the morning crowd. So I'm really thankful for him man...

Skipped the morning lecture to do up my assignment... Cos I bet I wouldn't have time to complete by Mon...

Having a project presentation in about 3 hours... It's in a form of a little drama. And my role is to play the patient's wife HAHA. Thankful for funny and cooperative project mates!

As fun as the project is, WE CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER AND DONE WITH. It's such a drag. -_- Yet I'm so excited about it hahaha.  :)

Monday, March 23, 2009

Stress level UP -> concentration of cAMP increases -> excessive production of gastric acid -> gastric reflux BACK...

Also,

Stress level UP -> excessive blogging =x

Image95

The when-can-I-go-home looks.

Image101

And the why-am-I-still-in-school-now look. (It looks scary huh haha, but after that I had a hilarious time acting as a fiance lol. Thank God for great project mates!!!)

 

Going to school is like going into a battlefield.

And at the end of the day, the last thing I want is someone to irritate me. Like tonight. Marilyn knows this...

That I dislike (an understatement) people who

1) ARE LONG-WINDED
2) BEAT AROUND THE BUSH
3) CAN'T ______ MAKE A STAND 

For goodness' sake, JUST ______ GET STRAIGHT TO THE POINT???!!!

Especially more so if you are a male (Sorry for the discrimination). If you possess all the above 3 points, there is a likelihood I might stop talking to you.

I mean, if I know I will get irritated by you, then it's better not to take the chance right. And usually problems arise not because a person doesn't talk but rather talk TOO MUCH.

And probably in my case, BLOG too much. =X So it's wise to end here now and do my tutorial...

Got bored with writing my 2000-word case study and so I read MUSO. Came across an article featuring "life as a hospital musician".

In UK there's an organisation called "Music in Hospitals", established in 1948 to improve the quality of life of adults and children with illness and disability through live music.

www.music-in-hospitals.org.uk

That's so cool.

However, it seems like a far-fetched goal to introduce something like that in Singapore. But I believe things can be worked out. ;)

I'm excited at the thought of it and totally in for the idea of having music in hospitals! My hope is to make use of my knowledge in nursing as well as interest in music and create something out of it haha.

Hope that this vision will be manifested in maybe... 10 years' time?

In fact it took me many years to find my relationship to the instrument, and my reasons for being a musician. I had ideas about going into psychology, into healthcare, instead. But you can't run away from your nature, from what you're made of. And it kept haunting me. I was a musician, but I didn't want to be. It was a very difficult time.

- Gabriela Montero ("PIANO" May/June 2008)

 

Frankly speaking, there are times when I wonder "What the ...... am I doing in NUS NURSING???" Tonight is one of those times. What the ....... am I studying about drugs, DNA, how the body works and stuff..............

When all I'm confessing is that I wanna be a PIANIST??? And everyday the dream is bugging me... I see it all the time!!! It's agonizing. ='(

Sometimes, I feel like the boy with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. Nothing much in my hands, little talents. But as he gave them to Jesus, He multiplied them and fed thousands of people.

Similarly, I believe that as I surrender what I have to God, He is able to multiply them to bless many people!

I also wanna thank God for putting many people in my life to help me along the way.

As the saying goes, if He gives you the vision, He will give you the provision.

Amen! :)

Still, after all that have been said, I very much enjoy being in the Nursing course, it's the coolest course in NUS. HAHA. I love learning about our body. It's the most amazing and beautiful creation ever. It's so complex that there are still many many things which the scientists haven't unraveled.

Life itself is a miracle. Something unfathomable. A mystery of God? :)

..... .... ... .. .

Alright that's all for now...
Still learning to like Mondays haha.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Teachers often imply that printed pages act as a barrier between players and the magical, quasi-improvisatory creativity in concerts that we all strive for and which, hopefully. leads to moments of spontaneous genius.

- Murray McLachlan (PIANO)

 

I learnt from Sofi that the person who introduced this performing-from-memory thingy was Lizst. Argh.

Well, when I was younger, I found it much easier to memorize a piece... But now... It's not anymore. Gosh. I believe it's NOT due to age :) but rather overloading of (unnecessary) scientific terminologies and who-knows-what things. :)

I wish I can use just 1 more % of my brain though. It can save me from many things. :)

My schedule is kinda tight right now... Kinda keep me on my toes, which is good. :) Praying for a larger capacity and for extra strength of God!

Oh I wanna thank God I'm 95% recovered already! I totally can't afford to fall sick for the next 3 weeks...

I didn't even eat the pills prescribed, I think they will cause even worse side effects. (-_-) 

Tsk...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

YAY Pharmacology test is over~ It was in a true/false format. However, for every wrong answer, 1 mark will be deducted. You can also choose not to answer if you don't know. Rationale is so that we will only choose the answers we are confident of. In clinical, there is no room for errors man.

I had MENTAL BLOCK halfway through the paper... My mind went BLANK. That's the last thing anybody wants during a test or performance. Haha.

Anyway, I wanna thank God for helping me!!! I prayed a lot of times for this test cos I was sick and it's a new subject to me. :) Wanna thank Meng Ching for inspiring me too.

Answers were flashed after the test and I'm happy that some of my tyco answers were correct!!! HEHEHE... And overall paper looked fine hehe... At least better than I thought I'd do...

Of course I should have studied harder or something (yaya...)... Cos most of them were plain memory work. And I left some blank cos I wasn't sure... Sigh.

Anyway... After school I went to the music library to search for a Bach piano concerto score for Sofi. After about half an hour, I finally FOUND it. I was so happy :) Hahaha. Really hope she gets to perform that during our concert!

Met her up for dinner to pass it to her. Had a great time of catching up and talking about piano! Lol... She's my inspiration!!!!!!! I like it when people talk about their dreams. :) Don't have to be piano, but just about anything that you're passionate in. It's very attractive to me and you'll have my full attention hahaha.

Today she said something which strike me... She said she felt in her heart that I should take up the German language. I've never heard her spoke like that before. It was as if for a moment, there were just me and her amidst the crowd.

I have actually planned to take up a language next semester, thought of Japanese (Cos I like the people, culture and food hehehe) but I think I don't have enough points to bid for that. So I thought German will be good too since it'll be helpful in music.

Ok I'm sleepy already... Not fully recovered yet man... But much better. :)

 

P.S.: My blog is getting very wordy...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Sick Day

Ok I'm officially K.O.-ed.

Went to school for a project meeting today and after that I just knew I couldn't stay any longer for the next 2 lessons. So I left earlier...

Thank God for my dad who came and fetched me home... :) Upon reaching home, I totally knocked out. Slept for 5 good hours. :)

Went to see a doctor, reason is only to take a MC. So I explained to him all the symptoms that I had.

1) Gastric reflux last week
2) Dizzy spells throughout the whole week
3) Gasping for air thingy

He attributed 2) to lack of sleep. Reasonable enough since I usually have to reach school by 8am, and normally I'd only sleep for 5 hours plus. Ever since school starts... :( I miss sleeping!

He said that our brain is like a computer. If you overwork it, it's gonna shut down. So, never underestimate the power of sleep!

And he attributed 1) & 3) to anxiety and stress. They cause excessive production of gastric acid and also cause me to hyperventilate.

So, anyhow, he gave me this pack of "blood circulation" and "giddiness" tablets. Of which a nurse, or whoever was that, told me that I have to finish the "blood circulation" tablets. I asked what was that for??? And she told me it's for my nerves and told me to JUST EAT THEM... (0.0)

Obviously, she wasn't sure too. So I spared her the agony and stopped asking further. Now I know why many people are provoked/pissed by the healthcare professionals due to their lack of knowledge as it is their responsibility to know those stuff.

Sigh, but seriously, there is a tremendous amount of info to remember and I hope the public can be more understanding. BUT of course that's not an excuse for not finding out stuff we don't know.

I think the modern public is not very compliant people, they no longer just follow what the doctor says. They need to know the reason behind every intervention and the purpose of them doing it.

That's really good I think. Don't do things blindly! Challenge the doctors (and nurses...)! Tap into their knowledge and make their salary worth. :)

I don't know why I have difficulty breathing tonight... So much so that I'm gasping for air now...

And what's more ironic is, I'm studying on "Adverse Drug Reactions" now. I'm dreading the Pharmacology test on wed. Argh... Why must drug names be so long and alienish?!

To confuse the already confused patients??? And healthcare professionals... To make them feel smarter when they use those terms?!

Did you know...

That fatal adverse drug reactions (FADRs) account for approximately 3% of all deaths in the general populations?

Making it the 7th most common death in Sweden. 4th-6th leading cause of death in US.

And 50% of ADRs are actually preventable.

I believe one of the (many) causes of that is probably carelessness on the healthcare professionals' part, when they misread the MICROSCOPIC, superfluously bombastic names of drugs and administer wrongly.

That's why for nurses, we have to TRIPLE check a drug for its name and expiry date before giving it to the RIGHT patients (Gotta check their names and IC numbers TWICE.)

Basically, it's the 5 Rs.

1) Right time
2) Right person
3) Right dosage
4) Right route
5) Right drug

 

After writing so much, I'm still gasping for air.... Omg,

Save meee..........

Monday, March 16, 2009

:) I had dinner at Meng Ching's house! Indeed, she's one of the sweetest and most loving people around. I wanna be like her too! :)

She's my inspiration! :)

And for the THIRD time this week, the verse "God is in control" popped up again on a card at MC's house!!! I'm very convinced that God is indeed speaking to my life now.

Not too long ago, my life was kinda in a mess. With exam, project presentation and 2 assignments due one per week, starting from this coming week. On top of that, there're the endless meetings to discuss about the project and my Indonesia trip.

Of course, plus my piano and cello to handle...

It was just kinda overwhelming.

Even until now, I still have dizzy spells everyday! The fainting feeling. Wonder what's wrong man.

Anyway, every night, I still make it a point to read the bible. At least one chapter before I retire to bed. But of course some nights, I didn't read cos I couldn't even open my eyes any longer. =X

Still, I believe God saw it all. The effort I put in seeking Him above all (and of cos the times when I was too tired to read the bible too... =X) and the psychological conflicts that I had. I thank God that He is always right ON TIME to give me a boost when I feel like giving up.

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.
Psalm 73:26 (NLT)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I am currently in love with "Okuribito", the main theme in "Departures".

It brings tears to my eyes... It's... Awesome... Beautiful pieces make me cry-ry,.. =') I don't know exactly how to describe that... It's just that I'm so touched and happy for the beautiful creation. Sort of like a mixture of marvel + disbelief + admiration. :)

Er...

I think I'm too in tuned with my feelings? HAHA.

Well, we had a ET band jamming just now!!! AWW IT WAS GREAT FUN!!! I'm loving it!!! The band members were all passionate and hyped up and there was a tremendous amount of energy/electricity in the air!

Steph was there guiding me in the keyboard and she commented that I played with feelings but lack basic techniques. CHORDS and more chords. Kinda not accustomed to the style of music haha. I mean, how to play without melody on a keyboard?!

Learning-in-process. Hehehe.

I'm looking forward to the day when I can play the keyboard during worship sessions. :)

And I'm dreaming of the day when I can have a solo performance on the piano.

Until then, it's important to know that big dreams require the achievement of many small goals on the way. Yea keep telling yourself that Aileen.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Whee~

Departures

I just came back from a movie! Watched "Departures". It's a Japanese production featuring CELLO and funeral rituals. Interesting combo.

Departures-Okuribito-4

I like the way they are so respectful towards the dead. In our local hospitals, nurses have to do what is termed the "last office". That is, they have to clean up the body and prepare it neatly for the family members to view. I mean, after all the emotional turmoil, the last thing they wanna see is a disheveled body right?

So by performing the last office, it gives the family an impression that the deceased has a peaceful death. But of course, prior to that, there may be a hell lot of drama.

My dad bought the ticket for me like previously when I watched "Benjamin Buttons". And again like previously, I watched it ALONE! Haha. It's the first midnight show I watched alone.

Halfway through the movie, my dad smsed me,

"See ok, don't cry. You forgot to bring tissues! Ha ha. Enjoy the show."

I have such a COOL dad!!! :)

And before the show started, I smsed MengChing telling her I'm emo and stuff... And have NO motivation to study or whatsoever. And when the show ended at around 2am, she smsed me,

"Aileen! Hope you are feeling better after a movie! Just wanna let you know, I'm always there for you! :)"

So touched!!! Thank God for people whom I know I can count on! :)

..... .... ... .. .

Yesterday was also the first time I had such a LONG piano lesson. It lasted 1 hour 20 mins. 20 more minutes. :) Both my teacher and I totally lost track of time! Hehehe... :)

As cliche as it is, time flies when we're having fun! :)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

"The feeling of never getting there is frustrating, in a way, but it's also necessary, and exciting. If you ever feel you've "arrived", then I think you should leave this music well alone."

- Paul Lewis
"PIANO" July/August 2008

..... .... ... .. .

Had a chat with Sofi last night and I told her some of my struggles. Felt very encouraged by her. She told me to keep practising and that God is in control.

Strange enough in Shing's (my cgl) email reply today, she said the SAME thing, that GOD IS IN CONTROL.

It is comforting to hear that twice on 2 consecutive days. Indeed, it was a word in season for me. :)

By the way, I'm so proud of Sofi! Her dream is about to come true SOON in August, She's mostly likely playing a Bach concerto during our orchestra performance. So exiting haha. She's my inspiration! :)

. .. ... .... .....

I had a nightmare this morning. It woke me up at 6am. It was too scary... That I needed 1 minute to recover myself. It was so real, that even while I was conscious, I thought it really happened to me, that I kept having to question myself.

I smsed Meng Ching cos I know she'd be awake early to pray every morning. :) And she prayed for me. Thanks girl~ :)

What a way to start off my day...

Thankfully it's Thursday! My favourite day of the week cos I only have to attend 2 lectures and the rest of the day is free. :)

Alright till then...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

If you have a XY chromosome on your 23rd chromosome, or produce androgen hormones, please do NOT exhibit the following traits.

1) Indecisiveness
2) Whininess
3) Weak-mindedness

NOTHING TURNS ME OFF MORE THAN THOSE. Period.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

-Life's Little Treasures-

Ooo... Look what I've found.

..... .... ... .. .

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Cello lesson today!! I think it was great~ =)
There will be a rehearsal tmr.. Anticipating! =)
Love doing things that I love.. =)
Somehow, the cello isn't that heavy anymore... The lethargy after work vapourises like alcohol on warm skin... And shopping seems dull and boring in juxtaposition...


But I haven't reached the 'fanatic' level yet I guess.. But maybe on my way? See, everytime I'm out, I wish I can be at home playing my piano... Coming up with new melodies... It's real frustrating when a nice melody strikes you out of the blue when you are out, with nothing to seal the spontaneity... And most of the time, it slips away like a viper in the desert sand.. Hidden in the deep nowhere...

. .. ... .... .....

Glad that my passion for music is still alive after 2 years!!! *beaming* And of course I'm still far from the 'fantastic' level LOL... Ok now I think it's such a kiddy word. And of course I'm still on my  looong way there...

Some things never change? =P

"The higher we get, the further the horizon becomes."
- Andras Schiff

It's a never-ending journey, who knows where it will lead, when you can't even see the destination?

And yes, I still look forward to coming home everyday!!! It's my best chill out place on planet earth haha. That is, if I'm alone at home. It's little wonder why it takes tons of discipline to study at home. :(

And by the way, when I least expected, in 4 days, 3 people have told me that I slimmed down. HAHA... More reasons to eat!!!

That might be due to stress...? Which led me to have numerous gastric reflexes (heartburns) and dizzy spells recently. Today being the worst.

Ok off~

Sunday, March 08, 2009

School Stuff

 

1) In case you haven't known, there was a 2nd suicide case in NTU within just 1 week.

Why did they choose to die in school and scare everyone???

It is alarming to know that both are from the same school and in the same course. But let us not be judgmental about the school system and stuff... And start pointing finger at the poor lecturer who was already literally backstabbed. I believe it's more than that?

Whatever it is, however rough situations may be, they are not worth exchanging our lives for.

 

2) Hehe, if you've read 07 March 2009 copy of the NEWPAPER, you'd have seen my JC principal's grinning face flashed across page 3. :)

I'm not surprised that he was still wearing his white shirt.

Anyway, memories of him are etched in my heart. I always think he looks like Mao Zedong. I will never forget his white short-sleeved shirt + black pants + white socks + sandals. It's like his own set of uniform.

One memorable moment I had with him was during a fateful morning after assembly. I was happily talking to a friend on my handphone. And suddenly I heard someone shouting, I turned and it was actually him.

By the way, he always shouts in school. Especially in the canteen, when people leave their cutlery and utensils around.

So lo and behold, he was actually shouting at me?! *innocent look* (o.o) I knew it and was still happily talking on the phone... Now I wonder where did that audacity come from. =X

Anyway, I can't remember what wrong did I do that morning that aggravated him. He confiscated my phone and I had to see him in his office to retrieve it back. What an adventure lol...

Ok that was 3 years back. :) Not something to be proud of huh lol...

 

3) After half a year in NUS, I finally saw an eye candy that made me turn my head. Probably the one and only in Science. Who knows, he may be in other faculty actually. Haha.

My Year 2 and 3 friends are all convicted that there is no eye candy in Science. Lol...

I was watching TV tonight (like once every week), and was delighted to see an advertisement promoting NURSING!!! I'm so proud of the nurses. I'm glad they showed a MALE nurse too. I think male nurses are very brave, they dare to go against the stereotype. And please, do not have the preconception that male nurses are SISSIES. They are not.

In fact, my tutor once commented that male nurses make good husbands. Haha. Female nurses love having them around too as they can help in the more physical demanding stuff females are incapable of doing. Eg lifting a fat patient.

 

Alright that's about all for now.

Friday, March 06, 2009

I spent 14 hours in school today...

And I'm so freaking irritated that I have no time to practise piano for lesson later... Sigh... My teacher's gonna grill on my scales first thing every lesson... Cos it's not exactly my strongest... Though it's the easiest to score... So so frustrated...

And I'm actually quite afraid of her when she grills me... So much so that after playing all the scales, my mind is kinda exhausted already. The mental intensity is there ya.

I may skip tutorial to come home earlier to practise? Cos I really treasure every lesson and wanna make the best out of it.

Perhaps it's not the best thing to do. I have never skipped any tutorials. But this time round...

Music rules.

 

Maybe...

 

 

Oh and I have a Medan meeting at 8am later.

Do you know what you're getting yourself into???

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Her (Carola Grindea) fundamental contention - that total musical communication can happen only when body and mind are free of negative tensions, and muscles and breathing can function unhindered ... she was one of a handful of musicians in this country who really understood the problems, the misery, that musicians, often privately, have had to endure.

- "PIANO" January/February 2009

..... .... ... .. .

I had a thought recently. 2011 might be the worse year yet. =X By then I'll be in my final year in NUS, I suppose it's gonna get tougher from now? And I'll also be taking my Piano Grade 8...

HOW???!!!

Seriously...

Gotta run on God's supernatural strength, otherwise I'd probably just curl up and die. Haha.

Mostly likely I'd be taking piano Dip. after Grade 8 and continue as far as I can go in my lifetime... Who knows I might not even end up being a nurse???

HAHA, I mean, things are curiously unpredictable sometimes. :)

Maybe, somehow, I'll have a fusion of both nursing and piano? Bringing music into the hospitals! How about that? Things can be worked out. :)

I have always wondered why don't hospitals have some light soothing, therapeutic music playing in the background??? It can probably put/induce some patients to sleep (not in that context lol...) and nurses will be less busy catering to unnecessary requests of patients. Or rather, more available to do more important things.

A large majority of patients admitting into hospitals in the next 5-10 years would be our parents' generation. The baby boomers!

Many people + many new diseases.

(0.0)

Please tell your parents to take good care of themselves NOW!!! Stay healthy! :)

Yaya the same few words. I shall disappear now!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Ok I hate it that I have to juggle between music and science. It's causing much agony and distress. How can one person live in 2 different worlds?

Yet I can't (and don't wish to) get out of either one.

='(

Sunday, March 01, 2009

 

IMG_0091

She is Ong Meng Ching a.k.a OMC, one of my bestest friends! I'm so proud of her!

She's one of the strongest people that I know. Incredible. And she's smart too! Having being the only one to obtain "excellence" in her recent test in NUS Business (Honours). *Beaming* YOU GO GIRL!!!! Of course that was also after praying much to God! Prayers work!!! :)

She's been constantly on my mind recently. Love ya.

Anyway, keep working on your "Flirting 101" HAHA... Hope you can publish it one day. Sorry I can't help much... Lol.

..... .... ... .. .

Take me deeper...
Deeper in love with You.
Jesus, hold me close in Your embrace...

Take me deeper...
Deeper than I've ever been.
I just wanna love You more and more...

How I long to be deeper in love...